Maybe the two of you said that you'd stay friends, as many people do. "It's okay to feel sad one day, mad the next, in denial the day after, and back to feeling sad again." Don't stay friends–consider deleting your ex's number. Tess Brigham, a therapist and life coach based in California, agrees. No matter the circumstances of your split, your feelings are valid and processing them is a journey in itself. Here are 20 ways to start feeling better fast, according to experts. In time, though, you can move onward and upward.
But in those first few brutal days and weeks, you've got every right to feel inconsolable. In reality, breakups are often the shattering preamble to a new-and-improved life (one that can eventually include a relationship with someone you're more compatible with). Even in the most amicable, mutual situations, a split is an ending-and in a culture that emphasizes "forever" as a relationship goal, we're made to feel like an ending is a failure. When you're the one who chose to end things, there's often guilt swirled into your sadness. If you've been broken up with, you're grappling with the very real pain of rejection on top of mourning a lost love. They can shake you to your very foundations, causing you to question your confidence AND your faith in love itself.
There's no getting around it: Breakups are terrible, even if they're handled with compassion.
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